Wednesday, September 5, 2012

My friend's assault case with her husband (clearance)

Following the recent assault case between an ex-classmate and her husband, I would like to present BOTH sides of the story. Since sharing her video on facebook many people have been asking me about the whole issue. Seriously, I do NOT know every single detail of the conflict. I'm just a friend who thinks that beating your wife is wrong.

Here is the video:

(yep its on youtube, but its not uploaded by her.)

Now, read his side of the story here:

LEARING THE AIR: Calven Chik telling his side of the story to Malaysian Digest reporters at his home in Ipoh yesterday. Pix: SM Amin.IPOH: “I know it was wrong. I knew it the moment the red mist cleared. I’m sorry.”
That is the admission by Calvin Chik (pic), the man who is at the centre of the controversy involving a series of videos which depicts him assaulting his wife in their branded goods boutique in Ipoh.
Almost overnight, the 26-year-old has become ‘public enemy number one’ on Malaysian social media networks, thanks to the availability of the videos, which has garnered him nationwide scorn and even earned him threats from strangers.
The videos, captured via the store’s CCTV cameras, were uploaded by his wife, 19-year-old Amanda Fong, on her Facebook page. Fong, who is two months pregnant, had also posted up pictures of the injuries she had sustained following the incident.
At last count, the videos have been ‘shared’ almost 25,000 times by Facebook users.
Met at his family home in Ipoh yesterday, Chik said he had no excuse for his actions and expressed remorse.
“I know that there is no reason or justification for my actions and I cannot defend myself over this. It was something that I should not have done. I regret it,” he told Malaysian Digest.
Chik claimed he and his wife had numerous arguments before, some of which had escalated into violence. He admitted that this wasn’t the first time that he had become physical with her, and vice versa.
“I don’t expect anyone to understand it, and I doubt if anyone ever will,” he said.

Bad Romance

Violence, he stressed, has not always been a feature of their marriage. The couple first met in June last year and tied the knot on Jan 17 this year.
He claimed that the marriage was good in the beginning, but was eventually soured by the presence of his mother-in-law, whom he claimed was a disruptive influence.
He believed that Fong’s mother played a prominent role in influencing her daughter’s behaviour and for driving a wedge between them.
“My wife had a troubled upbringing. Her parents separated when she was young, and she was raised by her mother and grandmother. This was related to me when we first started to know each other,” he claimed.
His mother-in-law, he claimed, was warm to his at first but he eventually sensed that she disliked him. He claimed that when he went to her to ask for her blessing to seek Fong’s hand in marriage, his mother-in-law rejected him the first time around.
Chik related several incidences of when the mother-in-law’s behaviour puzzled him, such as when the newlyweds wanted to go to Macau for their honeymoon. He claimed the mother-in-law demanded that she be brought along.
“I thought it was a bizarre request, and my wife thought so too. This was after all, our honeymoon. My mother-in-law only dropped her demand when my wife bought her a ticket to London for a religious event, something which the former had been pestering her for previously,” he alleged.

Newfound Wealth, Mysterious Phone Calls

Chik claimed that when he first met Fong, the family was not well-off. Both mother, daughter and grandmother lived in a modest two-room flat in Ipoh.
“Amanda wasn’t working, nor studying, she told me her family couldn’t afford it. But as the relationship progressed, I saw Amanda having quite a bit of money. She then enrolled in a course at a local college, claiming that the fees came from a sponsor from her mother’s company.”
Chik said he didn’t want to question where the money came from, but became increasingly intrigued as her spending increased.
“She later began accumulating expensive clothes, handbags and started dining at expensive places. She no longer had to rely on me for money,” he claimed.
However, his curiosity reached its peak when she declared that she was interested in buying a brand-new Volkswagen Beetle, which costs almost RM200,000.
Chik, who ran a marketing company, claimed he knew there was no way she could qualify for a loan, even if she used her mother’s name as the mother did not make much.
She eventually told him that the source of her new-found wealth was an “inheritance from her late grandfather”, who owned several orchid farms in Malaysia. She told him that she received the money when she turned 18 from the caretaker of the family business.
He was also puzzled by ‘mysterious’ phone calls she received, and claimed that she was secretive over the nature of the calls. She claimed that the calls were from the caretaker.
He claimed she also declined to let him accompany her when she wanted to go and meet the caretaker. He claimed she met the caretaker on a weekly or fortnightly basis.
“Each time she returned, she would take her mother and I out for either a nice dinner or a shopping trip,” he claimed.
Chik claimed Fong eventually bought a brand new Honda Insight, which costs almost RM100,000. She claimed that the caretaker had helped secure the documents for the purchase.
“I tried to avoid thinking about it, but I reassured myself that this was all above board, and there was nothing going on,” he claimed.

Infidelity Shock

He claimed that in May, while using his wife’s iPhone to use her web browser, he stumbled upon a series of messages between Amanda and another person. The messages, he claimed, were affectionate and personal in nature.
“I was stunned. I didn’t know how to react to this, so I spoke with her grandmother,” he claimed.
He claimed the both of them then confronted Amanda, who tearfully confessed that she had been having an affair. She claimed the other man was an Ipoh-based Datuk, who was then revealed as the source of her wealth.
Chik claimed that the Datuk, who was married, was someone she had known before she met him, but she was unable to break it off.
“She subsequently pledged to have nothing more to do with the man,” he claimed.
He alleged that after her admission, Amanda became hysterical and threatened to kill herself, claiming that her life wasn’t worth it. He claimed it took sometime before they managed to calm her down and the situation got back to normal.

Depression and Suicide Threats

Chik disclosed that his wife was diagnosed as being clinically depressed, based on their visit to the Hospital Bahagia Ulu Kinta. He showed Malaysian Digest his wife’s medical diagnosis report, which stared that she suffered from depression.
He also later discovered that he suffered mild depression as well, as is currently taking medication for it.
He claimed that she was prone to fits of rage, and admitted that it was not something that he could usually help her with. He cited several instances of difficulty in dealing with her rage issues.
“There was an incident where an argument broke out between us in her home. She then took out a knife and chased me around the flat, threatening to stab me. She then sat on the bed and gave me a choice, which was to let her stab me, or she would stab herself.
“I was at a loss, and I broke down in tears. Her grandmother then came home and diffused the situation. But this wasn’t before she had slashed both her forearms.
“We knew that if we took her to a government hospital, she could be charged with attempted suicide, so we took her to a private clinic instead for treatment,” he claimed.

The CCTV Beating

 The incident, he claimed, started from a petty argument within the shop and swiftly escalated into a massive fight.
“I’ve read the comments on Facebook  and on blogs. I know what people are saying. My wife has also accused me of attempting to harm the baby, when it was the opposite.”
He alleged that his wife had a history of driving off and “disappearing for hours” when they get into a fight.
“This always has me worried, given her pregnancy and her state of mind. There have been times when we were worried sick as she couldn’t be contacted for hours on end,” he claimed.
He claimed that he was trying to get her to remain in the store and not storm off. He also claimed that he was trying to defend himself from his wife’s attacks.
Chik, however, admitted that he should not have reacted violently.
“I have no excuse for that. It was something that shouldn’t have happened, it just went out of control,” he said.
He said he was fully prepared to face the consequences of his actions. Police are now investigating the case under Section 323 of the Penal Code for voluntarily causing hurt.
If charged and found guilty, he faces a maximum one year jail sentence or a maximum fine of RM2,000, or both.
Chik said he was aware of the possibility and was prepared to face them.
“I know what I did was wrong. I’m not running away from it, I’m not hiding. I will accept whatever comes my way.”

- mD

- Credits to

so who is right and who is wrong? We are in no position to simply judge. However, it IS wrong to physically abuse a family member (especially a woman because our society is sexist) but at least he owned up to his mistakes and is ready to face the consequences.

I believe he needs his story shared just as much as his wife's video was shared.

Spread the word. (and keep your judgments to yourself)

Saturday, July 21, 2012

What now?

Everything is pointing to this being really unhealthy and that it isn't meant to be. What happens now? I can't think as straight as I used to, I worry a hell lot more than I used to, I am more afraid than before. Yet, I feel like hanging on. But I worry that hanging on is not going to be good for both parties.

Why have we become like this?

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Current Obsession

Now listening to: Ain't No Fun - Bigbang
Now playing: Mass Effect 3 - Bioware & EA Games

*caution: this post contains spoilers, mass effect fangirling, and a lot of pictures. You have been warned.

Been really free lately. It's the end of the exam season and summer break is fast approaching! So what have I been indulging myself these days? Why, the hint is in the few lines above. I'm sure my wallpaper agrees with me on my obsession.

you like it too don't cha? 
Nah actually I'm more obsessed with the characters and the story plot. The gaming style is a great plus too!
All squad members of ME2 (excluding Shepard; including DLCs)
My favourite character is, the one third from the right. :3
Sere Thane Krios, a Drell assassin (yes i know he looks like a fish. Don't judge me. Bioware intended for him to look like an exotic fish and the bird of paradise. Though I don't know how he looks like a bird?)

How is THIS not hot?
A terminally ill Drell dying from Kepral's Syndrom with a quiet character. I think it's something like tuberculosis or perhaps lung cancer. His personality and character is quite something. Initially I wanted my FemShep (cause female soldiers are just more badass) to romance with Kaidan,

Major Kaidan Alenko in ME3
but almost everyone romanced with him. Sure Kaidan is hot, a great guy too, but I felt so mainstream. So I thought, 'hmm, what about Garrus the Turian?' Garrus is a great squad member. I read on the forums somewhere that his romance scene is quite touching too.

Turian sniper, ex-vigilante
And so romanced him I did! In my first try of Mass Effect 2, I got to the point where I was at a cross roads at whether to continue romancing Garrus or stay loyal to Kaidan (from ME1). In the end, I chickened out and broke off the relationship with the Turian before the suicide mission. Anyway, I played ME3 a while after that, then I got Mass Effect 1. However, I gave up on that game as it was terribly long and well.. difficult. I also found Kaidan to be kinda not my type? So yeah. I replayed Mass Effect 2 again to complete the new DLCs I got. Halfway through the game I suddenly just felt something for Thane. The way he talks and the way he sounds; all baritone and low just makes your spine tingle. Not to mention when he gives Shepard a pet name! I almost died. /laughs/ I stuck with Thane till the end of the suicide mission and I am happy to say, that everyone on my squad survived.

And so, now I'm playing ME3 with having romanced Thane and dumping Kaidan, I am anxiously not  looking forward to seeing him die. It's really depressing, since Thane is such a great character, but I suppose there is no escape from his fate. I mean, his terminally-ill state is what gave him that said character, right? I am sure many Thane-fans would agree with me to wanting to keeping him alive in ME3. That's about it for this post. I just wanted to rant on how cool the Mass Effect trilogy is (though I prefer 2 and 3). Here's a trailer (I'm showing you the femshep version coz it's cooler. That's my own opinion. Heh)

Anyway I just hope I get enough EMS to survive the final mission. Here're a couple of pictures to end the post!

Son; Kolyat, Father; Thane

Just because Chick heroes are more badass at saving the world

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Assumptions are bull.

i came across a video someone posted on facebook about bigbang's fantastic baby being satanic. my first reaction was "wtf?" sure their music videos for their new album "Blue" is a little weird with their new hair-dos, outfits and tattoos, but honestly how are they satanic? "please explain more" you may say. Fine. This is AprilandWayneShow's youtube page.

So now you may be asking, "what's wrong with that?" sure spreading the Good News is well, good. But doing it like this?

Yes, Islam does state that Jesus isn't God but only a prophet, (which i know is not true) but, to the extreme of calling Islam a false religion? Might as well ask for another 9/11 to strike! Calling other religions false and stating them in such statements just makes me hide my face with shame. I am a Christian, but I don't go around preaching that my religion is better and you should just convert, no! This kind of act just... makes Christians look bad. No wonder so many people are calling Christians violent, hypocrites  and posers.
Something else to add, I feel that these users (since they are mother and daugther) are really the hypocrites themselves. Why would they want to filter out the comments in their videos? Why would they want to disable the ratings for their videos? Why?

My conclusion is that these people want to show that there are many who support their ideas and to hide the fact that there are millions more who oppose them. If I were to preach something like that; for example, i would do it in a un-bias manner. Saying things like that just makes you look bad to other people and making a huge mockery of your own religion. Now let's talk about the content (which you can see for yourself in the video

At first I thought "hmm maybe they have good points about why they're saying this." But after their first explanation about owls being a sybol of witchcraft, I just felt like flipping a table on  my own forehead. after that came a bunch of nonsense about the third eye which was somewhat irrelevant to the music video. In the MV Taeyang is seen sitting in a meditating position and they're saying he's influencing the viewers to practice meditation/yoga/third eye thing/etc. Honestly, when I first saw that scene the last thing on my mind was to do yoga or meditate. I mean, seriously? I think they're just over assuming everything. There are possibilities that people may follow, but what are the odds? Many people are already practicing yoga long before the MV. They would know better than to blindly follow what their Korean Idols are doing, we do have a brain and mind to think for ourselves. 

There are other implicit ideas about the MV in the video. Feel free to watch it and have your own opinions. Whatever it is, I still support Big Bang all the way. By the way, i wonder if they know that all of Big Bang members are Christians and that the majority of S. Korea are Christians as well? (29.9% being Christians and 22.8% Buddhists) Also, S. Korea has the 3rd highest percentage of Christians in SEA following the Philippines and East Timor. So, how could they assume that Kpop is satanic? I wonder...